Sunday, 19 October 2008

The Vietnamese Alton Towers!

A long sleepless night in a bunk designed for mini Asian people got us to Nha Trang, where we were lucky to witness SE Asia's premier market based karaoke competition.
This woman was the winner of Nha Trang Women's Day's Pro-Am Karaoke Competition 2008.

I wish we'd had more memory on the camera to record the full rendition of lipstick on your collar which closed with her being showered with bunches of roses by her adoring public.


Nha Trang feels a bit like a poor mans French Riviera with strangely trimmed hedges and a massive market selling a lot of dried shark fin. It seems to attract a lot of Russian tourists in dodgy swimwear, maybe its because they want to watch locals playing bingo on the beach.


We stayed at a brilliant hotel called La Suisse ran by Chinese people and then went to some mud baths with our old chums Helen and Chris. The locals were confused by us doin it in our swimming trunks rather than fully clothed like they did.

The highlight of Nha Trang has to be our trip to Vinpearl Amusement Park and Water Park. It pissed all over the parks I went to as a kid back home.

You got a cable car over the sea to an island that had been made into some kind of Tracy Island for fun creation not international terrorism prevention. Its called Vinpearl, and the the cable car ride alone was a white knuckle ride for Helen and Nic

The amusement park was deserted so it felt a bit like you were Micheal Jackson in Neverland, asking the staff to fire up the rides for you to ride on them. The Evolution ride was almost as good as watching the Vietnamese lad shit himself on the Pirate Ship ride next to an unimpressed girlfriend. Look at our faces during and after the ride.

Things got even better at the water park. The "Real Thrill 1" section of the waterpark was pretty special. Things have move on since Fantaseas in Dartford. Without any photos I will leave the brilliantly worded promotional material to describe the fun on offer. I think the inadvertently poor taste 'tsunami' halfpipe was my favourite.

  • Multisurf:- Riders slide forward face down on a single raft. A 15-metre height and nearly 70-metre length, together with different water parameters help create a variation in sliding speed, unleashing a tense sensation like being unleashed down real race tracks
  • Space Hole:Guests use a single sliding raft or sit directly on the slide (in a feet first, flat, face-up position, with hands behind their heads). Sliding along the chute and falling into the Space Hole, riders are free to splash around in a small pool after orbiting around “Space” a few times – discover Space for a feeling of elevation and complete relaxation!
  • Kamikaze:- Riders use a single or double raft to slide. After securing a sitting position, hands tight around the raft handles, guests begin to slide down the chute from a height of 21m. They experience intense speeds up to 70km/h, leaving them feeling like a warrior engaging in battle - a kamikaze.
  • Free fall:- Similar to a Kamikaze, but with only a slight technical change in water parameters, it can bring you the sensation of a free plunge from all of a 21-meter-high precipice.
  • Tsunami:- 15m in altitude but uniquely precision designed with a wide chute and steep slopes on two sides. Guests use a single or double raft to slide to-and-fro and follow the water flow to the pool. With a near vertical drop from 9.92m, riders experience a virtually real tsunami.
  • Flying Boats:- 15m high and 63m long, riders use a single or double raft to slide along a bumpy slide, creating flying boats, which land on a long pool underneath.
  • Uphill Flying Boats:- Have you ever overcome perilous slopes using floats? The length of this uphill journey is 65m and riders must utilise skill and physical ability to make it to the end.

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